mars, valles marineris, sunset, landscape, canyon, astronauts, epic exploration, space travel, http://grafik.deviantart.com/

Holy Shit! We’re Going to Mars!!!

Featured image credit: Deviant Art / Grafik

So a little while back we heard about the Mars One mission to Mars, and as travel bloggers we thought there would be absolutely nothing cooler than exploring another planet. So we applied, not expecting much.

mars one mission, mars pods, space exploration, mars, desert, humans taking over mars, human population of mars

Image credit: CBC

If you have no idea what we’re talking about let me explain, because this is absolutely the most epic thing in the making right now, in the whole galaxy.

Actually, allow them to explain:

Well, as it turns out, where there’s a will there’s a way!! We’re on the shortlist! We’re going to Mars!

We’re not really supposed to talk about it yet, the first mission isn’t off until 2024 after all, but we’re so excited, and it’s our job as travel bloggers to share our experience with the world besides, we’re not the only ones who have spilt the beans!!

We won’t stop blogging!

Of course we’re going to continue blogging, don’t you worry, and we’re going to continue traveling!

We have 10 years to explore the rest of planet earth before we move on the the absolutely out-of-this-world landscapes found on mars, such as the Valles Marineris (as pictured in the featured image above) which is a canyon system as long as the United States, about a mile deep. Can’t find that anywhere on earth!!!

But over the next 10 years we will also be undergoing intense training to prepare for our human settlement mission.

potty training in zero gravity, space toilet, space man needs to go, space exploration

Image credit: SickChirpse

We’ll be going through intensive mental and physical training, but we’ll also be regressing back to childhood a bit, and learning to use the toilet all over again, as well as learning how to brush our teeth.

One Way Ticket

No point in asking us when we’ll be back, we won’t!

This is a one way ticket, there’s no coming home. We’re crossing the spatial ocean to the new world and saying goodbye to earth. Not that there’s anything wrong with this planet, we really think it’s beautiful, but we  think human settlement of other planets will greatly improve their cosmic well-being. It’s in the name of progress.

We’ll Be Really Busy Up There

Among some of our biggest roles, we’ve been told, will include erasing some of man’s previous mistakes on mars, by, for example, getting rid of the rover tracks that drew a penis on the surface of the red planet a few years back.

penis, mars, sex scandal, spatial genitalia, penis rover

It’s true, humanity doesn’t have a great track record on Mars so far, but we’re going to try harder from now on.

Image credit: The Register

Another thing we’ve been told is of utmost importance is to work hand-in-hand with the local community in order to bring progress to an otherwise impoverished planet. There aren’t many resources up there, so this task is especially difficult, but we’re confident the economy will be better if we just build some roads….

mars, martians, little green men, alien architects, building roads, progress

Some people call them names, like Viridis, and sure they’re not human, but there’s a lot we can learn from them, as long as we change their education system to match ours first.

Image credit: NASA

UPDATE:

For those of you who fell for it, this was our April Fool’s joke this year. :)

While the mission is indeed real (or so they say) we’re not going to Mars. We’re more than happy here on Earth, and while we’d love to see the entire circumference of the globe for ourselves one day… like this guy did skydiving from the stratosphere for RedBull…

…we think space colonization is a ridiculous endeavor. Let’s make our home better before we go ruin other planets, no?

Would you go?

About Jade Adele

With an eclectic background in neuroscience, research, journalism, and design, it's safe to say Jade's still a little bit confused as to what she wants to be if and when she grows up.

2 comments

  1. Dear Jade thanks a lot to let us know about your next trip….Be sow kind when you get there to Send us down to Earth a VIRIDIS…..(fedex or caribe tours)we teach him how to surf……
    Love Alejo

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