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What If You Have a Gun to Your Head? Part III

Moon, night, clouds, blue, navy, dark, sky, sea of clouds, dreamy, scary, warewolf

Due to its graphic content and foul language, this post has been rated “R”

Last week, you got the intro to our misadventure. We’re glad you’re back for more!
Part 3 of a 6 part series. (see bottom)

Part 3- Let Me Try!

You’re a half hour late buddy!

The joking about a free show has cut some of the tension in the air–even our assailant seems a little more loose, straight up, as in, he’s loosened up his pants button and zipper–at least it’s saved us some time. Well, a little bit of time. He’s still quick to realize the blood’s in no hurry to flow back to Gabe’s private parts, and the only demand is that we have sex so, yeah… buddy’s not gonna be happy much longer if we don’t get the show on the road… seriously dude, you’re a half hour late.

Gabriel’s doing what he can to… well it’s soft so, we’re gently pretending,  while Buddy–

pants now fully undone, playing with his weeny like a preteen who just found his first playboy under his daddy’s mattress with one hand (I imagine… I’ve never been there or done that)–still holding the gun with the other

–lights us up with his cell phone flashlight.

I guess he wasn’t too happy with what he saw because he tells me to stop and move over a few yards with him, a little further down towards the beach.

He’s on his knees in front of me, asks me to sit in front of him, straddled, he’s still playing with himself, he’s mumbling somethings I don’t quite get, when I do I follow suit slowly but surely, when I don’t I calmly ask him if he can repeat. Sometimes I ask him to repeat just to buy some time. We’re not nervous, we’re both understanding this is a difficult situation for the both of us.

I’m trying to send him love vibes like, buddy I aint scared of you and I’m not judging you either, I get it, we’re all messed in the head, and he apparently really doesn’t want to hurt me because he’s asking very nicely. If his hands graze too close and he notices I tense up he immediately checks himself and apologizes, tells me he’s sorry, he’s not going to, you know.

Well that’s all fine and well but, I’m not enjoying how far away I am from my boyfriend and if you decide that you change your mind on not “you know”ing I’m not really sure what I can do to stop you right now so, the next thing he asks of me, to please lie back, I tell him,

“excuse me but, there are plants here, it’s not so comfy, mind if I move back a few feet?”

This isn’t so comfy, mind if I move?

This isn’t working out for him either. Something’s clearly not the way he intended. Is it that I’m not playing the part of the victim that’s freaking out? Is it that he really needs Gabriel and I to have sex? I don’t know. What I know is he’s got a moral code to stick to, he’s not a thief, and apparently he means no bodily harm either. If we just stay calm we can make it out of this just fine.

He lets me move back a few feet, but then he just completely changes his mind and tells me to get back to my boyfriend.

“Suck his dick” he says but, well, I’m not proficient in the profane realms of Dominican slang so, that demand flies way over my head.
Gaby translates. The intonation didn’t get translated though, the demand changed into a sweet little question, nervous at that: “Um, you mind if, well he wants you to..” I’m paraphrasing but Gaby gently asks me if it’s ok to put his junk in my mouth. He seems relieved I’m back within reach, even if I was only gone half a minute.

At this point I’m already crouching, and he’s standing next to me slightly to my left, our gunman is focusing on his own junk again…

“Do it up babe.. come here, It’s alright, all we gotta do is have sex and psycho goes away, relax, I’m not freaking out, we’re all good.” Seems the dude doesn’t speak english so we have a bit of freedom in communication. I’m trying to be gentle and loving and maybe even a little erotic.. make everyone happy so we can go home, Gaby is obviously trying as hard (pun intended) as he can to enjoy himself, but now this whole mess is starting to take too long for our nervous gunman.

My mouth is full, except to rub the sand off my tongue, so I’m out of the conversation, at least for now, but the two of them are having a leisurely chat about how there’s nothing Gabriel would love more in the world than to make love to his woman (aw.. he just called me his woman, that’s so cute) whom he loves so much (awww I love you too baby…. can you tell I’m still lovestruck and a little tipsy… I think my brain is lagging… it’s still stuck on travel plans and sunsets instead of the reality of my current situation, I guess sometimes being tipsy is a bonus, I digress) under the moonlight (oh yeah I’d forgotten, what a beautiful night this is) but this is simply NOT working.. why don’t we just call it a night and all go our separate way.

“No, try again.”

Pop! he’s out of my mouth, our efforts not COMPLETELY useless, but not so successful either, so we’re back to pretending.

Well, more like  I’m just waiting, on all fours, I got faith tho… but then I hear “Deja me intentar” and before I can translate that to the english “let me try” I see erupt out of my bottom right peripherals a Tasmanian devil ball.

Up until now, none of this was life threatening.

Up until now this was just sex with a stranger watching

But now the love of my life is wrestling with a psycho with a gun


In the sand

Under the moonlight.

This would be absolutely hilariously comical, if it wasn’t completely terrifying.

I’m sure the moon is laughing.

You let go of the gun! No you let go!

I don’t think twice. I jump on the ball too, do what I can to add some more strength any direction away from my baby’s face.
Meanwhile I’m thinking, wtf, wtf, wtf, baby was this really necessary? there’s no going back now, panic, panic, panic…. how do we get out of this? Ugh.

Gaby’s on the bottom, both hands on the gun, gun in the sand.

Our gunman’s bear-hugging Gaby, arms around his neck, both hands on the gun, gun in the sand.

I’m bear-hugging him, who’s bear-hugging Gaby, left hand on the gun, gun in the sand.

With my right leg I’m trying to wrap my leg around his right leg and pry it off Gaby so he can get free. I’m really happy he’s still wearing pants….

We tumble. We’re still tumbling.

Somehow we’re back to the original position, a few yards away, and I’m still trying to get this fucker off my boyfriend.

I’m not playing nice anymore, and buddy realizes that I’m stronger than he’d estimated… he groans a little “pero coño” while I’m still waiting for the gun shots.

Come on Gaby, just pull the trigger baby, empty this shit in the sand, what’s taking soooo looong.

Shortly following the “pero coño” our assailant starts pleading with us, “I don’t want anymore trouble, just let go of the gun i’ll leave you alone and go home!”

Gabriel, pinned under both of us is arguing “Us let go of the gun? you’re joking right? you let go of the gun, no harm done, and we’ll all go our separate ways”

I’m thinking

gimme something hard to hit this bitch upside the head with,

but we’re on the beach, there’s just sand and plants. I’m still trying to pry his leg off, waiting for the gun shots.

Gaby now has a fabulous idea, he says, “look, we’ll dig a hole, we’ll put the gun in the sand and cover it up, and then we’ll walk away and you can come back for it later”

Sounds good enough to me so I jump off them both and dig a hole, but instead of them putting it in I see both of them get up, gun NOT in Gabe’s hand, buddy disappears quickly and Gabe says “gun’s not loaded get back to the bike.


The Fuck just happened?

I quickly grab pieces of Gaby’s phone and my clothes from the place we got undressed just a few minutes ago.

I find out later Gaby had been trying to shoot the gun, but nothing was happening, he thought it was jammed, checked to make sure the trigger wasn’t jamming, nothing, and then had the brilliant idea to stick his finger in the magazine chamber, only to find that it was empty, right at the same moment that I got off the dude. Well his relief lead to just enough of him relaxing that buddy ripped the gun out of Gaby’s hand and ran away.

Now we’re back next to the bike, Gaby’s got his shorts back on ninja speed and is shoving stuff back in his backpack telling me to move it.

I’ve got my shirt back on, I’m trying to button my pants, but something’s not working right.

Right then, out of nowhere, he’s back.

Now It’s loaded he says…

skip on over to Part 4- I’m not a thief!  for the next part of the story.


Here’s a sneak peak at the rest of the story:

Part 1- Surprise!!

Part 2- Don’t Move!

Part 3- Let Me Try!

Part 4- I’m not a thief!

Part 5- WTF just happened?

Part 6- The Aftermath

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