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What If You Have a Gun to Your Head? Part I


Due to its graphic content and foul language, this post has been rated “R”

This one is a story I’ve been wanting to share for a while now.. but before sharing it with the world we wanted to make sure all of our loved ones were made aware first. It took longer to share with some than with others… but now that we’ve got our bases covered, make sure you’re sitting because you’re in for a juicy story.
Part 1 of a 6 part series. (see bottom)


Part 1-  Surprise!!

Where are we going?

One day, randomly, in the beautiful life of Gabe and Jade, Gabriel says to me don’t make any plans for tonight, I have a surprise.

I HATE surprises. Well, not really true. I love surprises when I don’t know they’re coming. Give me an unexpected gift, send me a random note in the mail, take me out to dinner kidnap-style…sure, I’ll be pleasantly surprised, but tell me there’s something coming and give me no more information and that’s all I’m thinking about until the time comes.

“What baby, what is it, what are you planning, what are we doing?” that’s all that came out of my mouth for the rest of the day. Ok, Ok, I don’t COMPLETELY hate surprises, they get me excited and they make me feel special but PLEASE stop with the torture. “If I guess will you tell me? What should I wear? What time is the surprise happening?” and

“PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE, pretty PRETTY please with a cherry on top, I’ll do anything you want please tell me now! Tell me NOW! now, tell me, tell me now. How about now”

All the while Gabriel remains calm and stoic the little smile on his face–the ONLY indication that he even hears my incessant pleading–is driving me even more crazy. He’s so proud of himself the little…. but he’s so cute, look at how cute he is. I can’t win.

The whole day, the scene just repeats itself. Jade distracts herself with whatever she can, slips into momentary lapses of quiet oblivion, then, the idea pops back in her head, she runs to Gabby like a 5 year old and progressively begs more and more annoyingly, while pulling on his shirt, that he stop this nonsense and tell her at once, please, until his proud little smirk turns into full out laughter, then they both laugh, she huffs and puffs and attempts to find a new distraction until, at last, the time arrives.

“Let’s go” he says. “What am I wearing?” I say, a last attempt at guessing before we’re there. The “whatever you want, lover” that followed gave me no additional clue,

so I slipped a bathing suit in his bag and put on a decent pair of shorts… preparing for anything, and hopped on the back of his bike.

We drove west, away from town, so we weren’t going for dinner. We turn off on the right on a dirt road that eventually leads to the beach we surf at, locals know it as Encuentro. Between kite beach and Encuentro there’s about a kilometre and a half of desolate beach, and past Encuentro… well there’s no reason to take this turn unless we’re going to Encuentro, and we don’t have our boards, so finally it clicks, we’re going for a picnic. And that’s when we stop.

On a little mound between the road and the beach I realize we’ve got prime sunset viewing position: beach on one side and sunset on the other and I jump up and down excitedly. Picnic! we’re having a picnic! and hang from his neck and kiss him all over.

How do we stay safe camping around the country?

He’s so proud of himself. He’s got our oversized towel in his bag, he’s now carefully laying it out on the grass, He’s concocted a sangria-like drink with strawberries and wine (strawberries are sooooooo hard to find here) He’s carefully selected blue cheese and baguette (not just any blue cheese, the one I’d noted a few weeks before was my favoritest) and he’s still got that ridiculous smirk on his face, but now it’s not at all annoying anymore, now it just warms up my heart with all kinds of make-you-wanna-puke-i’m-so-in-love mushy pride. I can’t believe this is my boyfriend. He’s so perfect. I’m so lucky.

It’s a wonderful evening. The sky is clear, the ocean is calm, the birdies are chirping, the sunset is stunning and we’re making travel plans. This is before we had officially decided to vagabond the earth (that decision is another story worth another series of posts,) and at this point we were just making measly little plans for me to hop on the back of his bike and circle the island. No big deal… just him and me and a motorcycle, in paradise.

The problem with that plan is we’re in a third world country where people carry guns, so we’re thinking about how to safely do it on the cheap. Do we stay at hostels? Where are there even hostels? Do we stay in hotels? How cheap are hotels? Do we camp? We just saw some people camping the other day near Encuentro, must be possible.. Is it safe? What if we only camp on private property after asking the owners permission?

Should we carry a gun? No, we’re not prolific in the usage of guns, we’d end up getting hurt… How about a machete? Well at least we could use a machete! What about pepper spray? What if we leave the travel plans for another day?

I’ve stuffed my face with delicious cheese and bread, and the strawberry sangria is almost out, and the sun hasn’t set yet but I’ve got stars in my eyes.. Won’t you kiss me lover I’m so happy to be in your presence.

Isn’t this all so romantic?

So one thing leads to another and we take a look around and there’s no one to be seen, and anyway there’s nothing happening here at this time of day, no chance anyone would walk by, and if anyone drives by we can’t be seen, and the sun is setting and we’re so in love. It’s discreet. still… just in case…

at this point we’re just silhouettes against an azure sky, stars are starting to peek out,  and why would we refrain, it’s all so perfect, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, it’s celebration time.

The air is still, it’s so peaceful. What a wonderful surprise. We gaze at the last bit of the sunset, only crumbs remain of both the bread and the cheese. I kill the last of the Sangria. Gabby pulls out his camera and starts taking pictures of the evening sky, getting darker now by the second. I’m cleaning up a bit so we’re ready to head home… and then it’s dark enough to take some long exposures of the main drag and the lights of passing cars. So Gabriel tries his hand at a couple shots and I’m giving him a few suggestions, we’re both facing the street, backs to the beach. And that’s when we hear it…

skip on over to Part 2- Don’t Move! for the next part of the story.


Here’s a sneak peak at the rest of the story:

Part 1- Surprise!!

Part 2- Don’t Move!

Part 3- Let Me Try!

Part 4- I’m not a thief!

Part 5- WTF just happened?

Part 6- The Aftermath



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